Of Suits and Catsuits
by Chaos Silk
Summary: Chaos's extremely late Halloween fic. Halloween at Shinra, from Reeve's point of view. Random trickortreaters, Fire, Destruction of Cait Sith and Reno. Some mild shonen ai. Turks and ToothbrushesVents universe.


Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII or anything related, nor am I making any money. I also don't own Batman... though I technically own Catman, which is someone (not giving away who)'s alter-ego. 

Now this my darlings, was written for:

**Chaos, Star's and Fire's Halloween Challenge:**

Can you write a yaoi fic that has us all in stitches? There must be a cat and a costume involved. It is open to anyone and everyone, any series, any pairing (so long as that pairing is yaoi). PM me to apply.

It's also being held on **Gaiaonline**. However, there we have prizes, so if anyone is interested, feel free to apply. Deadline is Nov 25.

Warnings: Bits of Humor, Random angst (from Reeve) implied Seph/Reno and lots of little children being scarred for life.

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Reeve sighed, dutifully handing out candy to the trick-or-treaters who had come knocking at his office door. As he cheerfully waved the latest bunch, he wondered how Shinra expected anyone to get anything done with those blasted kids running around, begging for candy.

The visitors were the result of Shinra's latest goodwill producing campaigns. It was Halloween and as such, the President had asked (_ordered_) any employee with kids to bring them to work for the day in their cute little costumes as well as asking (_ordering_) every executive and all the military personnel to stock their offices full of candy. He had then asked (_ordered_) the children to be released on the upper floors to trick-or-treat.

As far as Reeve knew, he was the only person on this floor who was actually handing out candy. Heidigger was using it as ammo, firing it at any kid who dared step foot near his door. Scarlet was handing out bottles, which had formerly held alcohol. Reeve didn't know how many she had, but over one hundred and fifty kids had come to her door and she still had plenty more. Palmer was eating his candy in front of the kids and laughing at the ones who cried and Hojo was in his lab (_thankfully_) where the children didn't have access.

On the floor above (The Turks and Rufus's floor), only Elena and Rude were actually participating in the event. Elena was handing out pamphlets and Rude was handing out Rubber Ducks. Vincent, Tseng, Reno and Rufus were nowhere to be found and Reeve had heard the children muttering disappointedly about the absence of General Sephiroth and that the crazy spiky haired man they had found there had ate all the candy in his office. Which Reeve took to mean that the five-some had decided upon having a private party in some unoccupied area of the building.

At least Reeve hoped it was unoccupied. The last thing they needed was some poor three-year old being scarred for life by one of Reno's ideas. The redheaded Turk may be adorably spastic to some, but when you stopped to think about it, he really was quite disturbing. And dangerous. And malicious. And psychotic.

In fact, if he ever stopped to think about it, there were a lot of similarities between Reno and Sephiroth... Only Reno was more like a squirrel on speed, everywhere and into everything at once. Only Reno was a lot bigger and more dangerous than a squirrel and was capable of causing more damage, as Reeve was well aware. Or rather, as Cait Sith was well aware.

Reeve was still sore about the destruction of his precious Cait Sith models. It seemed the redheaded Turk had something against them because every time he saw one, it usually ended up completely destroyed within the next hour or so.

Reeve had cried when Reno shipped the remains of the first one back to him in a box. The second one had been destroyed in a random explosion in Hojo's lab, or so Reno said when he shoved the charred bow (which was all that was left) at the bearded man. Reeve still didn't quite believe him. But Zack had backed him up, though that didn't mean much, Zack still thought the moon was actually made of cheese. He dreaded to think about what Reno might do to the latest model, he surely had some diabolical plan in mind. It was Halloween after all.

The smell of smoke made him blink and turn to look into his office. The first thing he saw was the Cait Sith was on fire, which sadly was not all that surprising. Usually when he thought of Reno destroying Cait Sith, Reno destroyed Cait Sith, almost as though he was reading the other man's mind. The second thing he saw was the back of a long black cape and a hood-like mask with spike-like protrusions on either side of the head.

"Batman?!" Reeve asked incredulously, staring at the intruder. The person in the cape jumped and turned to face him, cape swirling dramatically.

"No...I am Catman." The intruder announced proudly, placing his hands on his hips and smirking at Reeve. The executive blinked again, staring at Reno, for only Reno was brave enough to wear a cape and mask with a pair of extremely tight leather pants and a bondage collar with a chain draped over his bare chest. Reeve sighed.

"How did you get in here?" He would have noticed for sure if he had tried to sneak by him in that getup and the window was locked. Reno/Catman smirked, pointing to the now open air vent. The lid had been hastily shoved off, having been hastily glued on after the last time someone had come hurtling in through the vents. Now that he thought about it, that had been Reno too.

"Arrrgghhhh I is burning alive." Cait sith announced in a monotone robotic voice. Reeve pinched at the bridge of his nose as the fire alarm finally started to go off, sprinkling water from the ceiling. Cait Sith's AI always was stupid when it was in the process of being ruined beyond all repair. It made Reeve want to bash his head up against the nearest solid object.

The water and Reno singing 'burn, burn, burn' while dancing around Cait Sith was not helping alleviate that urge in any way. Reeve suddenly wished he hadn't bothered to come to work today. It was not like anyone would miss him aside from Reno and the redhead would only miss him because he wanted to destroy Cait Sith.

Thinking about that made him kind of sad. He did not get along with any of his coworkers, though he was the only executive that both the Turks and SOLDIER would speak civilly to without any hidden jibes about his character. Which was not anything to be proud of, it just meant that they thought he was too nice to be part of Shinra. He couldn't really say he had any close friends aside from his cat (his real cat mind you, not Cait Sith). It was actually kind of sad.

It was funny how one's possessions being on fire with a barely dressed super hero dancing about the blaze made one think about these things. Reeve didn't know how the sad state of his life related to the chaotic events going on in his office, but the human mind was an odd thing and it was best not to ask questions.

The last time he had asked questions about the human mind, the company psychologist had thrown himself out the window. Though that had more to do with the insanity that made up the majority of Shinra than Reeve did, who was apparently the sanest man in the building (according to the psychologist).

"You know what?" Reno's voice broke through Reeve's thoughts, bringing the executive back to the world of the living. Reeve blinked, turning his head to look at the green-eyed man. Reno stared back, a small smirk on his face as he grabbed hold of Reeve's arm. "You think too much."

Reeve's eyes cross as Reno poked him in the nose, giggling as he proceeded to drag Reeve off to whereabouts unknown. "Come on, let's get back to the party... Sephiroth owes me a lap dance."

Reeve blinked again, not really knowing what one should say to that. He wondered if this meant the Turk considered him a friend. Because he certainly wasn't his enemy, Reeve had seen what horrors the man had inflicted on Hojo. He blinked as Reno's hand shifted down to hold his own and squeezed, the redhead grinning back at him from underneath that ridiculous mask as Reno led him to the unofficial Halloween party.

Unsure of what to do, Reeve smiled back, feeling slightly relieved when he was rewarded with a blinding smile and a arm slung about his shoulders as he guided him down the hallway to one of the many conference rooms.

"Mommy, that man looks like a stripper!"

This had to be simultaneously the best and the most awkward moment of his life.

----

Reeve makes me want to strangle him. It's always thoughts, thoughts, thoughts with him. Even the most simple of actions requires paragraphs... However, I think it's worth it in the end, don't you?


End file.
